There are definitely some women more blessed in the relationship department than others. Here is The Top 5 Reasons You Pick the Wrong Men.
There are definitely some women more blessed in the relationship department than others. Some fall in love with their high school sweetheart and live happily ever after. Others go from frog to frog in search of Mr. Right.
But, what if the problem isn’t that you’re meeting the wrong men? What if the problem is you?
There are bad seeds that find their way in to our lives no matter how diligent we try to sort through them. But, if you’re finding more bad seeds than good, you need to look at your sorting criteria and make some changes.
The Top 5 Reasons You Pick the Wrong Men
What criteria would that be?
Reason #1 – You settle
If you settle for less, you’ll get less every time. This is true in relationships, jobs and every other area of your life. Very rarely will you ever get more than you ask for.
Think about it in terms of employment. If you settle for $10 and hour, do you really think your boss will approach you and ask to pay you $20 an hour? Nope. He’ll just gladly keep paying you the $10 and go about his merry way.
That’s exactly what happens in the relationship department. If you settle for someone that doesn’t quite treat you the way you want to be treated or doesn’t respect you the way you think he should, it isn’t likely that he’s going to wake up one day and decide that you deserve more. He’s going to keep doing what he’s doing and you have the choice to either put up with it or take a walk.
If you want a guy who is cream of the crop, so to speak, then you need to accept nothing less. You can’t be too choosy when it comes to picking someone that you may potentially spend the rest of your life with.
Reason #2 – You choose short term over long term
Do you always seem to fall for bad boys? Do you get caught up in the thrill of the ride and then feel totally heart broken when the ride is over, wondering what you did to lose his interest?
If you find that you’re always chasing fun and excitement, then you’re not looking past the short term benefits of being involved with someone who lives on impulsivity and doesn’t stop anywhere longer than he needs to. Sure, it’s fun and there’s nothing wrong with a guy like this, but don’t be all surprised when you wake up some morning and the only thing left of him is a memory.
If you truly want someone around for the long haul, then you need to think about what qualities that kind of man would possess. Maybe he’s not as exciting as Mr. Tattoo Motorcycle Man, but he doesn’t have to be dull either. Many available, relationship worthy guys like to live a fun and exciting life.
Reason #3 – You ignore warning signs
Are you the person that sees the flashing red WARNING sign and continues to run towards it because you have to see it for yourself to believe it? Yes, love (and lust) can be blind, but they don’t have to be. And, if you want it to turn into long term then they shouldn’t be. The sooner you open your eyes the better.
Warning signs are there for a reason. They’re meant to protect you from harm. They’re there to keep you safe and help you not make stupid decisions.
Of course, sometimes you see the warning signs and think that you can change him. He’ll be different with you, you tell yourself. Whatever happened in the past wasn’t his fault so with you life will be just great. People can certainly change at any point in their lives, and some do. But a huge number of them don’t.
So, if he has four kids by four separate women and he doesn’t take care of any of them, chances are good he wouldn’t take care of any he had with you. What you see is likely what you’ll get. Read our 10 signs he needs to go.
Reason #4 – You don’t trust your intuition
Your gut will tell you when something is amiss. The problem is that most of the time we ignore our gut because we can’t pinpoint exactly what is wrong. We tell ourselves that we’re just being stupid and seeing things that aren’t really there.
However, your intuition is more than just a sixth sense. Your mind can pick up on the smallest of things without you even being able to register what you just saw. That’s why it’s thought to be nothing more than a feeling, when in essence, it is actually a thought based on a specific happening.
For example, if you’re talking to someone and they make a deceptive move, such as looking up and to the left when you ask them a question, although you may not realize they did it, your mind will catch it. You end up feeling as if they’re not being honest but since you can’t process what your mind so astutely picked up on, you let it go.
Remember that your intuition is based on real things. It’s not a feeling or thought. Just because you can’t bring it from your subconscious to your conscious doesn’t mean that something didn’t happen. Trust your mind to tell your body when things aren’t right.
Reason #5 – You’re lonely
When you crave the comfort of love and affection, you can very easily make some extremely bad choices. You can also just as easily justify them. You deserve to have someone make you feel good about yourself, so why not take this guy you barely know up on his offer to sleep with him? You deserve attention too, don’t you?
This kind of goes back to the settling part. If you decide to be with someone just because you’re lonely, then you’re likely going to lower your standards. After all, if Mr. Right is nowhere to be seen, why not go for Mr. Right Now?
Hey, you’re only human and of course you crave human touch and feeling loved. That’s normal. But, if you’re only accepting someone in your life because you feel vulnerable, you’re probably not going to be happy long term.
The first step is recognizing when you’re vulnerable. And, once you’ve identified that you’re feeling that way, you need to really proceed with caution. Take a second look at your love interests and don’t be so quick to satisfy yourself immediately because you may sacrifice your long term happiness.
Does this article mean to say that all the bad choices in men are your fault? Not at all. There are men out there (just as there are women) who start out being great but wind up being completely different than what you thought.
But if you notice patterns in the men you typically choose, then you need to pay attention to them. You may be a greater part of your relationship problems than you realized.
Now will you go out and find Mr. Right since you know what to look for? You might. At a minimum, you will be more inclined to recognize him when you see him.
(youqueen.com)
